I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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