Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
