I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
