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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud

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• (916): View more from California

  My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.

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• (707): View more from California

  He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring

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• (707): View more from California

  Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.

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