Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
