How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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