I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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