He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
