We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
