i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
