Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
