dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
