Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
