Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
