Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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