I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
