Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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