dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I think my moral compass just broke
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
