and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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