a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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