My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
