just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
