We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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