Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
