dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
