I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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