Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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