I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize