I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
