Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
