some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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