no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
