Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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