After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
