And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
should my penis look like a turkey
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
