I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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