I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
