I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
