I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
