# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can feel your judgement through the phone
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
