Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
