how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
