What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
