dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
