I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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