He told me they were just razor bumps!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
