Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
