Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
COCAINE IS GR8
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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