i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize