I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
