I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize