people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I am available for nakedness
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
