grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
