no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
