Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
