Im at strip club and am horny
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
