he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
how drunk are you?
Several
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
