Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
