i just google imaged poop.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
