I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
