how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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