TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
bring money and cleavage
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
