I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
