You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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