fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
