Don't you send me to vm
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize