this boner is exhausting
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i think i scared a bird with my dick
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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