Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You are a genius and a whore.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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