She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
