Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
