His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
