Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My vagina just clenched in fear
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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