I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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