I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
