Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
